Mjolnir, Cap's Shield, the Iron Man Armors - these are some of the most potent weapons in the Marvel Universe. They also happen to look great - how many people wouldn't want a replica of the Bleeding Edge Armor to wear around the place? But not every super-weapon is as fashionable or functional as the artifacts we've just mentioned.
On the contrary, there are genuinely silly-looking weapons floating around the Marvel Universe. Most of these pieces of paraphernalia are powerful in their own right - even ranking among the most powerful weapons in Marvel Comics history - but it's hard to forgive how gaudy they look. Below are the top ten most ridiculous looking weapons in the Marvel Universe. May the One Above All have mercy on your eyes.
10 Fistigons
Here's how we think these gauntlets were conceived; someone at Marvel Comics was probably a massive Rage Against The Machine Fan around the time The Runaways debuted. After blasting "Bulls On Parade" for hours on end, they couldn't get the "five-sided Fistagon" line out of their heads. The Runaways creative team just gave Chase Stein a pair of high tech gauntlets, but couldn't think of a name for them. We think you see where we're going with this.
Conspiracy theories aside, Chase's Fistigons are some of the more useful weapons in this article. Unfortunately, they look like a pair of massive metallic mittens. In time, Chase will probably create a version of the Fistigons that look much cooler. But that time hasn't come quite yet.
9 Deacon’s Knives
Okay, by a show of hands, how many of you even know who Deacon is? No, we're not talking about Deacon Frost - or Stephen Dorff's sly self either. The Deacon we're talking about is a Ghost Rider villain who has beef with the Caretaker. The reason most of you probably haven't heard of him is that he's not all at that imposing of a threat.
Deacon's essentially an overgrown, roided-out old man with a bunch of tats covering his body. He's also got a pair of knives that look like something a Kindergartner drew up. It's no surprise that Deacon got wiped off the map almost as soon as he debuted.
8 Kingslayer Mark 1
Norman Osborn will stop at nothing to kill Spider-Man; he'll use experimental formulas, high tech gadgets, and bribery to make Peter Parker's life a living Hell. Thankfully, the Webhead almost always matches out Norman in the end - though he occasionally needs help from his fellow heroes when the going gets too rough.
However, we hardly think Spidey will need any assistance dealing with the Kingslayer Mark 1. Of the mech designs that Norman could've gone with, he gave this thing chicken-legs and a top-heavy design. If Spidey knocked the Kingslayer down, how's it going to get back up? Osborn's better off sticking with the Golbin Glider, in our opinion.
7 Godslayer
From killing kings to gutting gods, we present another weapon that doesn't live up to its imposing name. The Godslayer sword is Gamora's weapon of choice - both in the comics and the MCU. This formidable blade helped Gamora cement herself as the Deadliest Woman in the Galaxy.
Unfortunately, the Godslayer sword has an impractical design - again, both in the comics and the MCU. In the Mainstream Marvel Universe, the Godslayer has a perforated design that'd drastically reduce its effectiveness in real life. The sword's MCU counterpart, on the other hand, looks like someone glued a bunch of glass shards together. Both versions of the weapon seem like they'd hurt the wielder more than any opponent.
6 Magik Soulsword
However, even the Godslayer doesn't hold a candle to Magik's Soulsword. Or at least the updated design for the weapon. Most of the time, the blade looks like a sword wreathed in blue flames. That's an awesome design, in our opinion. However, the newer design for Magik's sword looks like a Final Fantasy weapon!
Jagged edges all over the place, mixed with and impractical design, equal a weapon that looks plain old goofy. The Soulsword is always changing its appearance, so hopefully, it changes back to something more discreet.
5 Blade of the Phoenix
The Blade of the Phoenix is likely the result of someone watching too much Berserk at Marvel Comics. They possibly saw Gut's Dragon Slayer sword and desperately wanted to make something that radical for the Marvel Universe. But it's the man wielding the sword that makes the Dragon Slayer awesome, not just the blade.
Without Gut, the Dragon Slayer is merely an oversized hunk of sharpened metal. That's probably how we'd best describe the Blade of the Phoenix - only this weapon isn't even sharp at its tip! And its wielder, Korvus Rook'shir, doesn't hold a candle to the Black Swordsman!
4 Ulik’s Codgel
Ulik is a Rock Troll with high-minded ambitions; he wants to punch Thor so hard that he doesn't get back up. To that end, Ulik's used numerous weapons in his quest to best the Odinson - namely his Pounder knuckle dusters. But after losing to Thor countless times, Ulik decided that he'd join his enemy if he couldn't beat him.
Thus, Ulik swapped out his Pounders for the Codgel - a weapon that lets Ulik fly, as if he were using Mjolnir. But here's the thing; you're not going to beat the Norse God of Thunder with a cheap knock off of his primary weapon. Plus the Codgel isn't even a hammer - it's an oversized stick!
3 The Edge of Reality
With a name like Edge of Reality, you're probably expecting to hear some pretty insane stuff about this sword. And, in fairness, the Edge can perform a slew of insane feats - chiefly, slicing through reality itself!
But, come on, look at this thing! It doesn't even look like a weapon, it looks like a chewed up slice of Swiss cheese! There's a reason we haven't seen this blade since 2014, and it's not just because of its power level.
2 The Ultimate Nullifier
Speaking of overpowered weapons, we present the Ultimate Nullifier. This tool contains a piece of Galactus in it, allowing wielders to erase anyone or anything from existence. However, one must have absolute focus when using the Ultimate Nullifier, lest they delete themselves from our reality!
Now, you'd figure that a weapon capable of beating Galactus would look the part. But the Ultimate Nullifier has the appearance of Mighty Kids Meal toy! At best, we'd say it resembles the Noisy Cricket from Men In Black.
1 Cosmic Control Rod
Guys, it's a pill. And Annihulus looks like a supersized-bug. That means the Cosmic Control Rod makes Annihilus a pillbug. Seriously, sometimes the writers at Marvel Comics play too much - one of the strongest beings in the Universe is a pillbug.
Plus, the CCR doesn't even look particularly special - it's a yellow pillar with some stripes going through it. You can take any suit in Iron Man's armory and admire the detail of their designs. Then you compare them to the CCR and you get the sense that all of that detail means squat!
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